Uh oh. Looks like the most recent book that I have selected to consult has me 'pegged'. Self-help books are interesting as they provide perspective, but rarely solutions. This one is really good. I was rather shocked when I read along, while sipping my morning coffee and came to the chapter on "Understanding Overfunctioning". They say is happens most often in children who are first born (bingo), and tend to be particularly intense if one parent was unable to do his/her job and we stepped in as the overresponsible child... (bingo on two accounts). She says that because overfunctioners 'look good' and 'hold it together' they are often overlooked. Holy crap. But there is more.... and I find it disturbing in its accuracy...
- move in quickly to advise, fix, rescur and take over when stress hits
- avoid worrying about their own personal goals and problems by focusing on others
- have difficulty sharing their own vulnerable, underfunctioning side.
- may be labeled as people who are "always reliable and always together"
Oh my. So now that I have been appropriately labelled I guess I move on and pray that the book gives me some idea of counteractive measures??
One thing she said that I really liked and perhaps is linking to me being an overfunctioner 'often the things others/selves consider our faults are inextricably linked to the positive things others value and admire". We may be overly bossy and controlling, but others also appreciate our take charge abilities and leadership skills. Two sides of one coin.
I will keep you posted on my read, as I read on....
