I have always believed the "it is not how long someone is in your life, but the mark they make in your life that matters". As I have grown and changed in the last two years this has become very apparent. I have opened my life to new people, new experiences and in doing so have been moved and educated by so many people. Educated about the different struggles we each face, and also about my own weaknesses. My strengths have become apparent too, but often it is our weaknesses that force us to learn or drown. Its those lessons we DON'T learn that come back to haunt us.
Dating people means opening yourself up to possibilities. Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking this or that person is right.... or good enough.... or even 'just right'. Of course you never get that deep down gut feeling of 'right'. What I am finding harder is categorizing a past relationship that was all wrong.... and never did I fool myself thinking it wasn't, yet, it was deep down gut felt connection. Letting that wrong time and place relationship go was so incredibly difficult.
At this time and place in my life I have found someone who fits me, and whom I adore and love. So why when I come across something that makes me think of that other "wrong" person is something still there? I guess it is that mark on my soul. A part of me wishes so much that I could tell them that they helped me become ME again when I had lost that person. That I smile when I think of them. And that for some reason, I couldn't take it if I ever found out they were toying with me the whole time. Sigh. Life just isn't simple!
Having had those experiences makes me appreciative of where I am and the love I have in my life. The mark on my soul left behind is a better understanding of just who it is I am, and what it is my soul needs to be satisfied.
