Know that there is nothing to prove & that the approval of no person except yourself can ultimately free you.
I would like to think that my success in reaching a goal I set for myself professionally is a result of both my hard work and my ability to find security and happiness within myself. In talking with a friend struggling with career decisions I could fully appreciate her position. Yet, I was amazed at how much baggage she carried with her with regards to leaving a past job. She could not be kind to herself and recognize that even though she misses that job, it was a good decision at that time. It was one made for herself. It is like she is chastising herself still and in doing so she is is paralyzing herself with doubts, fears and worry. I tried really hard to make her see the incredible person I see from the outside. That her fears are only in her own mind and that they are limiting. It is so powerful to take those limiting fears and eliminate them by finding answers or ways around them. Then, when faced with what you want you must decide do I really want it? Did I construct those road blocks for a reason?
In some ways I am recognizing that the work I have done over the past year (and more to be truthful) to be authentic has forced me to shed those limiting thoughts. That no one else can validate me. No one else can MAKE me happy. No one else can improve my life but me. It is my responsibility. What a scary reality that is eh? So much easier to blame our past for our insecurities, others for our feelings of alienation, our families or spouses for not being happy. It is all BULLS**T! To really look inside ourselves and be honest is terrifying. But also strengthening. If no one can tell you something you do not know and accept about yourself... when critisized you are stung, but you have the perspective to decide whether it is accurate or just them projecting their own insecurities.
As I pursue this growth of person I am amazed by the number of people willing to go through life in an un-authentic way. Those people just wander on willy nilly not ever looking deeper. I myself am so far from full acceptance. I struggle with insecurities and the urge to look outside for validation. Freeing myself from my own self limiting behaviours is something I strive for each day. Is ignorance bliss? Sometimes. Perhaps. Yet, when we think about people we admire who seem truly happy (Dalai Lama anyone??) it is this very self acceptance they have achieved. It does not mean they are perfect or have never made mistakes. It means they have the ability to accept the lessons, the mistakes and learn from them. Move forward. And to act in a way that is true to themselves and in gentleness.
