It was Confucius who said “There are three methods to gaining wisdom. The first is reflection, which is the highest. The second is limitation, which is the easiest. The third is experience, which is the bitterest.”
Ahhhh. Indeed. My year has without doubt been one of reflection. Looking at my own reflection, determining who it is looking back. Looking at the image of past behaviours and contemplating the "why" and the lessons learned.
Limitation is the challenge. Learning to continue to strive and try and move forward when all you are doing is running to standing still. How well I know this feeling. And true, each time has brought wisdom and when finally the limitations were passed, I saw their significance.
Experience is that which fuels the others. Without it, we would have nothing to reflect on and nothing to be limited within. One great gift I feel that has been given to me as of late is the ability to see the connections within my own experience. A sort of perspective, like I stand aside and all that was and is has focus in that moment. It isn't a feeling experienced consistently, but instead in stolen moments or times when my mind is finally still. So rare.
Looking at where I am, I feel rooted. Today I walked the gardens, and when taking a picture of the squash I took off my shoes and walked barefoot in the soil of the field. Sinking through, toes immersed in the fluffy soil, and what I thought of was "rooted". I feel rooted. And there is wisdom in that. Knowing who you are is wisdom, and being able to accept crap or beauty all in stride... that is important. It all takes time. But for all the soul touching people who have dipped but their toes in my pool, thank you. Some of you, oh how I wish that you had wanted to swim a while. Perhaps set up camp and visit the shoreline, explore the beauty. Not with the intent of permanent residency in your heart but with the bravery and desire to explore the wilds of me. Others, you came and went and I know why. Wisdom is to see the limitation of you, take the lessons you brought and accept the experience for both the beauty and pain. How could we know love if we did not experience indifference? How could we understand pain if happiness had not been had to contrast it with?
For me, the wisdom gained has been that everything includes elements of both. Like the yin and the yang, balance of black and white, light and dark.... It is all part of the deal.
