Sometimes we have things happen that strike us and overcome us. It could be a phrase uttered by a friend, or a situation that shows you your own capabilities. I have had both things happen in the last week or so.
The physical experience was to discover new life right here at work, in the barn. A ewe was pregnant, unknown by me (not unusual as it is very difficult to tell is a sheep is pregnant) and in the frigid cold she had two lambs. One was cold and dead, the other though growing cold was still alive. I was paralyzed for only a moment before I moved. Removing the dead lamb and explaining to my young daughter that yes, it was dead, yes it was sad, but sometimes nature knows best. I moved on to the living one. Feeling its frail body. Wanting to trust in the mother. I solicited advice from friends who grew up on farms, tried to stimulate the mom to react. Put up a heat lamp, but as time passed I saw that it was going to come to a decision. And in a split second I knew I could not leave this tiny scrap of life to the elements. Foolish perhaps, but I have this luxury as I am not a "real" farmer who has a flock of many sheep. I bundled the hypothermic lamb inside she went. I warmed her and rinsed her in water to gently raise her temperature. Then bundled her in towels, gently drying her. Then held her wrapped in warm blankets like the newborn she was, against my chest.
All night I held this little scrap of life. Hoping against hopes that I could pull her through. Trying. With help from a friend we got colostrum that I milked from the reluctant mom and fed via spoon. Then, I hunted down some milk replacer. Another tense night was spent with me arising every 3 hours to feed her. The morning I still felt we were on the edge. Yet, after last night and the excellent feedings today I see her growing more strength. Such relief. How much I want this little lamb to survive. How hard I am trying. As the bottle making and feedings take me back many years to my children's days of infancy! I am so weary.... yet I would not give it up. This little creature came for a reason. What a challenge. Am I a real farmer now? Not sure. But I do know I truly truly truly adore living things. Little snowy. Sweet little lamb.
Snowy
Legs splayed and shaky
Milky lips and silken ears
Showing me just how amazing and fragile life is.
