Remember when being an adult was so appealing? When it seemed to be the place 'to be' in life? To make your own choices, to lead your own life, to be your own wo/man? Yah, me too. Not all it's cracked up to be is it?
I look at my kids, and am amazed. They are fabulous, wonderful little creatures who have changed me immeasurably. The depth of love for your children is indescribable. The stress they bring indescribable too!! I look at the path my life has taken from one place to another and am beginning to see the flow... the lines are beginning to connect between the dots. I am seeing the reasons behind the lessons I have had to learn, both good and bad.
Yet, I sit here today (and honestly the last few) wishing I could revert to being about 7 or 8 years old. Back when clothes were clean, meals served, you went to summer camp, played outside and your brother was one of your best friends and life was pretty simple. No big emotional questions loomed. No threats of failure. This being an adult is not all it is cracked up to be.
I remember when I had Liam (the preemie) at the paediatrician's and she told me "only one area of the brain can develop at a time. If he is making major cognitive developments, the motor skills will be on hold". Why bring this up? Because I wonder if this rings true for life as an adult. When you experience professional success, the other areas get put on hold. Should you be kicking personal life ass, the rest will likely suck....
Damn, I wish there was a guidebook, a trail map, a list of rules or go to's for life as an adult. Being true to yourself is easier said than done. Still trying and striving for this while minimizing potential harm to those around me.
Sigh. Please can I just go back to grade 3?
