I realized it has been almost two months since I last posted. I think it is safe to say I have been busy? Yes. For sure. Having managed to launch the 2011 season at work, have new staff start without my assistant here (she was on a trip) and then, add in personal stuff.
The personal stuff. The stuff I usually record here. Where to start.... after processing a friendship which crossed the line of 'just friends' at times, I came to some important realizations. One: it really is true that we often want what we cannot have. Two: it is hard to peel back the reasons we want someone in our lives so damn badly. Those things said, when you admit to number one and recognize what motivates number two you gain a real sense of "whew"!
All of this occurred mid to end of April. Last blog entry. With the launch of the 2011 season at work I figured what better time than now to take a break from the dating thing. People just were not surfacing that had what I wanted or needed. Time to back off and breathe. Then, I went on one last date.
One last date. He was nice. He was cute. He made me laugh. No crazy electricity in the outset but enough to want to try one more date. When I met him the second time there was intense electricity. I was dying to have him kiss me.... and when he did it was incredible. As we talked, the commonalities of our lives in weird experiences came to light. The connect was immediate and intense. Our date was Saturday night until Monday morning. Amazing.
And.... since then it has only been better. I have loved people throughout my life. Loved my ex-spouse, my kids, my family. But not like this. To be honest, I didn't know this level of intimacy and connection was a possibility or even real. More the stuff of movies. There was none of the pretending or surface image projection. Just us, as ourselves and perfectly imperfect.
So, since I last blogged I have been struck by love. The gooey, hand holding, heart expanding kind of love. The kind where you feel content in the forever of it. No need to control it, just let it in. How incredible.
