Lately I have been thinking the best way I can describe who I am is a woman of contrast. There are so many things about me that seem one way, yet are really another. My strengths are my weakness, and my dreams are my reality, though I wish the reality was more dreamy at times!
Some of those contrasts are...
.... capable and strong. Independant and fearless. Yet fearful of becoming too dependent and yet again being put aside.
.... good at lots of things, what a multi-tasker you think! Yet, not an expert at anything and oddly enough -- cool with that.
.... deep thinker and cerebral. Yet can be as silly as a 4 yr old child and as crass as they come.
.... expect a lot from myself and set the bar high. Yet I do not hold others to my standards and instead accept what it is they are capable of.
.... bold and sassy woman, yet deeply empathetic and easily hurt.
.... love beautiful and pricey items yet happy with a beach found treasure. I weigh need verses want consciously.
.... have values and beliefs I hold as important and really do try to live them. I hate bottled water, I am conscious of my food choices and the energy my existence consumes. Yet, I am not rigid. There is a time and place for everything.
.... am a very affectionate and loving person. Touchy feely with my kids. Yet, I max out on touching sometimes and feel drained. I have a high need for personal space.
.... there are few questions I would not answer honestly. Yet, for all my openness there is much that is guarded.
As I walk a path openly inviting a walking partner to join me intimately, I wonder just how I should act. Be more one dimensional? Be fine with the complexities? Not worry about the darkness or light but dance in the mist of sunrise or sunset.... that in-between space that is like grey?
While others are day, or night.... I am neither. I am the space between. Not quite one or the other, never exactly fitting. The space that sits in the sliver of consciousness resting between either concrete time. Not quite one, or the other. A bit of both. Contrast.
