All of the above seems to be where I am at. Phhhwwwthhh. Grrr. I am not particularly happy with what is the status quo right now. After a great weekend of escapism, it seems the energies of the world are set to pull me in and anchor me to the less than savory realities of adulthood. From my insurance company telling me they don't want to insure me anymore.... to bills piling up for all those adult requirements! There is a part of me just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can feel the panic rising, bubbling up in my chest and touching my lily (so to speak!).
I fear I am dropping the balls around me.... they are slipping out of my hands and spilling everywhere and I am scrambling to pick them up and am not sure why I am and what I am to do with them all....
Surely this too will pass. And yes, there are many good things. Damn my coffee tastes good! Yay, I can come to work without doing/brushing my hair! I can listen to any radio station I want at work! I have good friends who I know are there for me, I just have to reach out.
So, I will not curl up in a fetal position on my bed with the duvet pulled over my head (no matter how appealing it may be) and I will try to focus on lessons learned instead of feeling abandoned by the people who have dropped out of my life without explanation. Stay positive. Chin up. This too shall pass as I RE-FOCUS, RE-GENERATE, RE-CREATE who I am.
