Angst, frustration, confusion. These seem to normal things everyone experience. Lately, I have been so busy I am close to forgetting to breathe! They say stress, combined with tension can lead to frustration and disappointment.
Interestingly enough.... I found directions online on just how to deal with my current teenager like set of feelings.....
Step 1
Lower your expectations.
Ummm... not likely. I am a go hard or go home, it is never okay to shoot for second best kinda gal.
Step 2
Accept life as it is. One thing is guaranteed in the game of life, you will be dealt a bad hand from time to time.
hmmm. Possible, but also unlikely. To accept life as it is means to give up dreaming, aspiring, growing. I accept what is happening right now, but I do not give up that I can change the next moment to something better. Hence, my frustration at feeling caught, impotent in making change and confused.
Step 3
Take nothing personally.
Hah hah. Put that up there with "constructive criticism". Criticism can be constructive but don't pretend it doesn't mean it won't hurt your feelings or put you in a tail spin.
Step 4
Take time to put the situation into perspective.
Okay, finally one I can do.... and I am trying to put it into perspective. Yet, here I remain.... frustrated, stalled in the status quo, struggling.
So what the heck? I feel like a teenager in that my emotions are all crazy. Like I have lost the ability to find perspective. That I question the feelings friends and family profess to have for me yet don't SHOW me. The whole actions speak louder than words is big for me. All I need are small things. Small efforts to show love, care, a bond.
Lower your expectations girl! This is what I should tell myself.
I am working on finding the way to tell people I care deeply about the way I really feel. How small efforts mean a lot to me. That I need to be reminded that you are there. I guess I really am high maintanence in a low maintenance costume.
SIGH
