Something I have thought on. I like being the boss, but let me qualify that with 'sometimes'. I had a lunch meeting with a a sponsor on Friday which really made me think on the question. It made me think, because we invited our someone from our own head office to join us at the last minute. As we casually discussed how the sponsor's program had unrolled, and brought some ideas to the table of ways to better benefit both them and us, I watched as the head office rep got increasingly agitated. Head office wanting one thing, and the sponsor wanting to deal with the people who directly administer their funding initiative. A conflict of vision. It made me think, would I **really** want to be at the helm of a ship where ass-kissing was key? Would I really want to be the one having people try to kiss mine? Not really.
The experience (however uncomfortable at the time) was very instrumental in me recognizing that if I am to realize my dream of becoming an executive director, it will have to be of a small grassroots organization. The 'corporate-ness' that comes with running a larger non-profit just does not appeal to me in the least. When you get to a point where image management and not issue drives the job of an ED, I want out! The whole experience made me recognize that it is passion for a cause, direct effect of services rendered, contact with the volunteers... these are all crucial to me. Not for me to feel powerful, but for me to feel connected. It is that very feeling of connectedness and use of my own skills that brings me satisfaction.
I guess what I need to start is a book entitled lessons I have learned... perhaps if I did this I really would internalize the lessons learned! Hmm, sounds like a new year's resolution in the making.....
