Help! I am choking on it! The stress that is... what a weird thing it is. I think it must be a real sign of being an 'adult'. Ei yi yi. The worst part is, given that it is situational stress it is highly unlikely that anything I do can alleviate it for any lengthy period. Guess I just have to manage and wait until the move is over. Time to visit my friendly neighborhood pharmacist and get that prescription for ativan filled!
Can't help but feel a little uneasy after my job eval. It went well, but was left with a vagueness. We got so busy talking about job related issues that all i got was the "things to work on" feedback, and not much in the "you're doing a good job Ms. KLC". Today when I checked in with the boss I broached the subject, got a sort of reply but not complete enough to allay the vaguely disconcerted feelings. Hmm. Wonder how much is merely my own stress playing into the situation and how much is really there. Hard to know given how my job works.
I am trying so hard to wrap up all loose ends so that when I move I can start fresh in my new office with some fresh new projects. Lovely. Lovely that is of course, if I can catch the damn ends and knot them together!!! I wonder sometimes what it is about me that says to people "ah, don't worry about her. She'll be fine. At least we don't have to worry about her." I felt that way as a kid, as an employee and even in relationships. Like no one lets me in on the feedback until I f*!#k up or work myself into a corner. It must be my confidence that fakes people out. Makes them falsely think I don't need compliments, feedback, support and reassurance. SO NOT TRUE!!! If anything, us over-compensators need it more. But... more on that later. The stress is getting to me.