There is nothing like a rainy day and something bad happening to remember where that centre is. To let the tears fall like the rain. Dripping downwards like droplets against a window. I think the physical centre for emotion lies in the little crevice at the base of my throat, then extends outwards and clutches involuntarily within my chest. Objectively I know it is part of a whole. A larger plan. Subjectively, it is seems pain, sadness, disappointment let us know we are alive. To never feel the depths of loss is to not appreciate the found. Loss somehow seems to be a litmus test. The test questions being (1) did you try? (2) did you live? (3) did you learn? (4) did you risk? If you answer yes to the above, I suppose one could say the pain at least is not one that is due to not living fully.
So in my sadness and confusion, I am reeling and feel physically ill. But I also know I lived, I risked, I tried, I learned. And what is to be will be.