The wind is whipping snow about as I look out the window of my office. The snow is the lightest, fluffiest snow imaginable... due to the bitter cold! When I walked the dog this morning I wrapped my scarf tightly around my neck and up to my cheeks and zipped up tight! The more I walked, the more I realized how much I love weather that is extreme. I love cold, blustery snowy days. I love kicking the snow and laughing as my crazy dog rolls and bites at it. I also love the wicked summer storms that develop from the collision of heat, humidity and cooler incoming air. I love the rain that comes in the spring, then suddenly breaks with the sun shining. Leaving the air smelling of earth and growing things. I could do without the smell of worms however... It reminds me of when I lived up north and you could smell the unique fragrance of melting peat bogs.
Once again, the experience of the world around us comes down to the sensations we take in. So few seem to stop and enjoy them. I love that my daughter will comment on a bitterly cold day how much she likes the 'smell' of snow. Or the delight in both kids faces as the wind whips snow up and around them and they squeal in delight, bursting into the kitchen hollering about the 'storm' out there. Sometimes I find myself conjuring up the images and sensations of opposite seasons as I am plunged into the other. Like thinking of how nice it is to be in a forest and feel the filtered sunlight and heat during a heatwave. Or the smell of rain on hot pavement (oh how I love that smell!). On cold days I sometimes think about how amazing it feels to lay on the sand in the summer and feel the heat radiate through your body, or the waves of the lake splash against you.
Ahhh, the world is a beautiful place. Canada is a FABULOUS PLACE! As much as I hate the muck and slush of melting snow, or the grey bleakness of November... I must say I love having the diversity of seasons we do. To look forward to spring, then luxuriate in summer, to pure enjoyment of the fall, to anticipation of first snows, white christmases and snow angels. Lucky.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Irritation with human nature
No, my mind does not slow down. Not even when I sleep, I have crazy vivid tangled dreams. I am always thinking about this or that, flitting from one topic to another. That being said, certain topics focus me in like a laser beam, sharp and precise. One such topic is people. People who think only about the immediate.
The whole craziness about Haiti has brought my irritation with human nature to the surface yet again. Irritation that Haiti has been suffering through unimaginable poverty, political instability, uprisings, corruption for years and years. Despite it's geographic proximity to N.America, we still managed to not really "see" the problems. Then when disaster strikes people are appalled. Horrified. Upset. And so we should be. My big issue? 80,000 people would not have died, thousands would not be facing amputations, and the people would not STILL be struggling to access the foreign aid piling in if ONLY people had been more willing to HELP THEM in the last decade! If their poverty had been alleviated sooner, there would be better infrastructure and people would not live such precarious lives. There would have been more than one hospital. The rampant distrust of their government perhaps would be less and would not impede the aid pouring in.
Why must humans only act when we are on a precipice? When we are almost thrown overboard? It is like this with global warming, poverty, health crisis... we choose to ignore until something horrific occurs. And yet then we turn around and say why did this have to happen? Do you REALLY want to know why?
And then I worry that all the influx of money will help in the short term, but just like any other relief effort-- as the event fades in the news, so does the outpouring of support. Then where are they? Any further ahead than before the natural disaster? Further behind really with an even more desperate need for infrastructure and social and political stability to deal with the rebuilding. Will people still care in 5 years?
IF ONLY people realized that $5 tshirt comes at a cost. An environmental cost, a social cost, and international cost. Our relative 'richness' in N. America is dependent on someone else's poverty. Wow... i can buy this for a dollar? How much did the poor chap earn to make that crappy plastic dollar store item? Was it made in a country where there are no environmental rules, no labour safeguards? Could you tell that person you don't care about their poverty, their health, their situation and that you really NEEDED that $1 store crap more than they need a better life? Could you...
It is hard. Thinking beyond. Thinking about where stuff came from, where it will end up. But if people thought a bit more, maybe we won't keep waiting until we are on the precipice to make ethical choices.....
The whole craziness about Haiti has brought my irritation with human nature to the surface yet again. Irritation that Haiti has been suffering through unimaginable poverty, political instability, uprisings, corruption for years and years. Despite it's geographic proximity to N.America, we still managed to not really "see" the problems. Then when disaster strikes people are appalled. Horrified. Upset. And so we should be. My big issue? 80,000 people would not have died, thousands would not be facing amputations, and the people would not STILL be struggling to access the foreign aid piling in if ONLY people had been more willing to HELP THEM in the last decade! If their poverty had been alleviated sooner, there would be better infrastructure and people would not live such precarious lives. There would have been more than one hospital. The rampant distrust of their government perhaps would be less and would not impede the aid pouring in.
Why must humans only act when we are on a precipice? When we are almost thrown overboard? It is like this with global warming, poverty, health crisis... we choose to ignore until something horrific occurs. And yet then we turn around and say why did this have to happen? Do you REALLY want to know why?
And then I worry that all the influx of money will help in the short term, but just like any other relief effort-- as the event fades in the news, so does the outpouring of support. Then where are they? Any further ahead than before the natural disaster? Further behind really with an even more desperate need for infrastructure and social and political stability to deal with the rebuilding. Will people still care in 5 years?
IF ONLY people realized that $5 tshirt comes at a cost. An environmental cost, a social cost, and international cost. Our relative 'richness' in N. America is dependent on someone else's poverty. Wow... i can buy this for a dollar? How much did the poor chap earn to make that crappy plastic dollar store item? Was it made in a country where there are no environmental rules, no labour safeguards? Could you tell that person you don't care about their poverty, their health, their situation and that you really NEEDED that $1 store crap more than they need a better life? Could you...
It is hard. Thinking beyond. Thinking about where stuff came from, where it will end up. But if people thought a bit more, maybe we won't keep waiting until we are on the precipice to make ethical choices.....
Friday, January 22, 2010
Beautiful, Sexy, Good even!
Looking over my last posts, I realized how brooding they seem. I guess I do brood a fair bit, I definately think too much, I think!! That being said I wanted to say with honesty, I am, overall pretty happy. I recognize the wonderful people I have in my life. My wonderful creative daughter, my curious and inquiring future scientist son, my supportive spouse, my brother-- who knows the darkest depths of me and 'gets' me like no other, my little brother and sister of whom I am so proud -- almost parent like, my in-laws who are like a gift from heaven, my extended family.... My best friend since grade 2 MAV, my friend who has given me encouragement, support and laughs V, and of course L, who has been a friend since Uni and is someone who is the kindest most loving person and always makes me feel good to spend time with, or S who is my intellectually challenging argumentative and equally stubborn friend whom I admire and love too. So blessed. And that is the short list. Then there are those I keep in contact via email and internet. The people I work with/for in the non-profit sector. The people I meet who hold a mirror up allowing me to see a new side of myself and grow.
For all my insecurities, for all my feelings of not being good 'enough' at anything I attempt... I am surrounded by enough goodness that I continue to live by the 2% rule. I am a great Mum (one who sometimes sucks, but overall comes through) and a good citizen. I try to give of myself to others. Spread love via smiles, thank yous, appreciation of cashiers and people I meet. Saying the good things I think about others, not just keeping them inside where they can do little good! Let them out.
Happiness is here. We just have to open the door. Somedays it seems stuck, that damn door. But most days I manage to open it at sometime. I am lucky-- in a blessing sort of way. I have built good things around me and drawn positivity in. I am a work in progress. As this work continues, I feel good inside my skin for the first time in my life. I feel beautiful, sexy, good with being who I am. I welcome the flexibility and nimble nature of my intellect, the strength and warmth of my body that makes others want to touch me, accept the responsibility to embody what I want to see in my world on the small and grand scale.
If you are reading this, may you feel my heart opening to you-- warming and supporting you. Believing in you and your dreams. You can. I know you can.
For all my insecurities, for all my feelings of not being good 'enough' at anything I attempt... I am surrounded by enough goodness that I continue to live by the 2% rule. I am a great Mum (one who sometimes sucks, but overall comes through) and a good citizen. I try to give of myself to others. Spread love via smiles, thank yous, appreciation of cashiers and people I meet. Saying the good things I think about others, not just keeping them inside where they can do little good! Let them out.
Happiness is here. We just have to open the door. Somedays it seems stuck, that damn door. But most days I manage to open it at sometime. I am lucky-- in a blessing sort of way. I have built good things around me and drawn positivity in. I am a work in progress. As this work continues, I feel good inside my skin for the first time in my life. I feel beautiful, sexy, good with being who I am. I welcome the flexibility and nimble nature of my intellect, the strength and warmth of my body that makes others want to touch me, accept the responsibility to embody what I want to see in my world on the small and grand scale.
If you are reading this, may you feel my heart opening to you-- warming and supporting you. Believing in you and your dreams. You can. I know you can.
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